In my years of being a junk food aficionado, I had never tried a Mallomars cookie until this past weekend when, in my local bulk food buyer's paradise, I bought a box of 3-packs.I've always liked marshmallow and anything, so I thought I'd give 'em a try, thinking they had to be as good or better than MoonPies, which I enjoy slightly microwaved.
On the way home, I cracked open a box of Mallomars and took my first bite. Ughh, they use real freakin' chocolate... the cookie actually tastes like rich chocolate. I can only feel the marshmallow; I can't taste it!
I'm not anti-chocolate since I like Snickers Bars, but for combination cookies, I think I prefer the no-taste, fake chocolate stuff they put over MoonPies to the real chocolate on Mallomars.
Apologies to choco-holics everywhere, but chocolate is just a wrapper for me, not the main course.
After I got home, I tried another couple of Mallomars. I didn't like them any better. I was bummed out and then I got a crazy idea... what if I microwaved them? It works for MoonPies, why not Mallomars?
Cautiously, I put a Mallomars on the spin plate in the microwave and turned it on. In 4 seconds, I heard a little pop and looking through the glass window, saw that the Mallomars had separated some and the marshmallow was puffing out a bit. I stopped the microwave immediately and took out the Mallomars.
I popped the thing in my mouth - and bada-bing - I was in mega-calorie heaven!
Those little chocolate-enrobed puffs of marshamallow were so good, I ate another half dozen par-boiled in the same manner. Well, at 70-100 calories each and already having a few before microwaving them, I was probably well over 1,000 calories of Mallomars in essentially one sitting.
I forced myself to put the box away until I could let some time pass and justify doing it all over again.
Later that week, a cable channel was running a history of special seasonal treats, featuring my new favorite - Mallomars, which are sold only during the colder months of the year to purportedly avoid melting in transit during the hot summer months.
Sounds reasonable, eh? But with modern enrobing, it's easy to formulate the chocolate to withstand transit temperatures and with air conditioned trailers, it's even easier.
So why would a cookie maker use an outdated gimmick like chocolate melting in the hot summer months to limit the sales period? Same reason that Girl Scout cookies are not available year-round - to drive sales through the roof.
Take a popular product and make it unavailable for much of the year and you are practically guaranteed a bonanza when you release it for a season.
Who would have thought a chocolate-covered marshmallow cookie could have so much marketing genuis behind it?
Ah, but what else did I learn besides a lesson in Marketing 101 and the fact that Mallomars are the best food on the planet?
- Nabisco should do more to promote this delectable treat
- Buy 2 boxes the next time
- Only microwave one Mallomars at a time since doing more than that makes 'em pop at different times, melting the chocolate all over the place
- Wait until the kids leave the house for awhile before I pop more Mallomars
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